Followers

Tuesday 13 December 2022

5 words : Yellow roses ambulance glabrous ephemeral ephiphanie

 Mary Morgan's story


358 words

Ephemere

How strange. I feel myself dissolving.

The boundaries between myself and the outer world are melting.

All my senses are gone.

And yet, I breathe, slowly in and out in this thick, heavy soup I am a part of.

I try to shift, to turn.

I can no longer move.


I cannot tell whether it is night or day.

Time goes by but I don’t know how long.

I have time to think.

Everything is vague. I float through many lives,

chasing my thoughts of other times, other forms,

but they slip away like forgotten dreams.


Colors, sounds and smells swirl together.

I have no sense of space.

I am large as the universe and small as a cell.

My boundaries dissolve.

I am a part of everything,

of all the worlds I have ever known.

Of all times gone by.


Slowly I feel my body changing. I writhe.

I do not know this strange shape.

Time passes.

Thoughts form.

My mind is awash in color and scent!

I dream of my past, fields of flowers:

Blazing Star, Black-Eyed Susan, Phlox and Heliotrope.

And my favorite, yellow roses. Oh, the scent of roses!

And Leaves! Leaves soft, silky green, glaborous leaves!


I wake to a loud, shrill shriek.

Trembling, I search my mind, scanning…

Ah, it is a siren, an ambulance,

waking me from my stupor.


I bend a leg. It is stiff and tight. Ahhh! I try to stretch out.

I am trapped. I twist and turn.

Desperate to escape.

My body feels like dry winter twigs crackling,

then slowly, slowly filling with sap.

I push through,

first my legs and then my abdomen.


I crawl.

Damp petal wings droop from my sides.

My body pulses with blood.

Wings harden and grow.

Old lives fall away.

Suddenly an epiphany.

I am of the order Lepidoptera,

a Papillio, a butterfly!


I flap lightly and float up and up

into my ephemeral life.

All around me is a mineral world.

Gray, blue buildings flash like fish scales, undulating for as far as I can see.

I search for a scent, a hint of green, a spark of life.

Nothing.

I must go on.

Searching the void, of this ephemeral world.

 

____________________________

 Geraldine's story

As the ambulance took a sharp curve on this narrow road, Melanie opened her eyes and started moaning.

-       Where am I, why does my head ache so much, what happened, where am I going ?

-       Don’t be afraid. You’re all right.  It’s going to be all right. Just keep still and relax if you can !

There was this deep calm voice, coming from a long way a way, reaching her ears : who was talking ?

-       We’re not too far now.  We’ll be reaching the Hospital in a few minutes and you’ll be taken care of and taken in charge by them.

She wanted to talk but not a sound came out of her mouth.  She felt light and heavy at the same time. She saw this glaborous face leaning over her, taking her hand and very gently trying to bring her back to life !  But she felt alive, only she couldn’t find a way of letting him know !

So she closed her eyes again and started trying to make sense of all this, trying to remember who she was, what had happened that landed her in this critical situation.  A few moving images came towards her, but they were so blurred they couldn’t make sense and she passed out again.

The next thing she knew was she was being transfered to a stretcher in front of this huge modern building that looked like a hospital.  It was a hospital ! The deep voice of the man with the glaborous face came through to her :

-       Here we are.  We’ve reached the hospital now : they are going to take care of you. I’m off again there has been another accident. Do take care and recover : you look so young !

The stretcher rolled quickly on a cold stone floor through many corridoors, two doors burst open and she just had time to see all these creatures with green blouses and white masks and gloves bringing a mask to her face.  She was « out » !

Melanie was sitting up on her hospital bed, talking to a couple of people who seemed happy to see her.  Who were they, why were they there ? The young man, brown eyes and dark hair, tall and slim was holding her hand and a middle aged women with whitening hair and a very soft look was smiling.

-       At last we’ve been allowed to come and visit you !  How do you feel ?  Do you remember anything about the accident, how it happened, what happened ?

Melanie smiled back at them.  How nice of you to be here !  Could you tell me who you are ?

-       But darling, I’m your husband, Eric, said the young man looking very disturbed !  And your Mum is here along with me.  Don’t you recognize her ?

Melanie’s Mum’s face went white, but she tried to put on her best smile and leant over to kiss her daughter.  But Melanie moved hastily backwards, looking afraid.

So they just sat there with her for quite a moment, not talking, just showing their warm feelings and trying to hide their disconfort. Melanie’s eyes were going from one face to another and back again : who were these people she thought ! Well, she laid back on her pillows and her eyes just closed again, she felt so tired, all these new faces to have to face, all expecting something from her she couldn’t pay back !

When these strange people left and she woke up again, a nurse came into her room and said :

-       Were you happy to see your family ?  They were so worried about you ! And pleased to see you were doing better, but they still are a bit worried as you seemed not to have recognized them ! Do you remember them at all ?

-       No, I don’t know these people, but they seem to be nice !

-       Well I’ll tell you what happened now if you are ready to hear your story !

You were driving on a road you know by heart, after work, to fetch your baby Roseline at the nursery.  There was this big lorry driving towards you and apparently, the driver was answering his phone and lost control.  He pumbed into your car –it was a red Toyota- and smahed it to bits.  His only good reflex was to call the police immediately telling them an ambulance would certainly be needed. So, when you reached the hospital, you were diagnosed with head trauma with blood clots that needed removing immediately.  They operated you within minutes and saved you.  But apparently you’ve lost your memory, you’re hit by amnesia : we’re going to help you recover : this often happens after accidents, but we try and find out circumstances that can help. 

-       Do you remember anything ? The accident, your car, your baby, the ambulance that got you here ? Melanie looked at the nurse, didn’t answer, but you could guess a lot of things being stirred behind her forehead.  She stayed silent for a long while, then the nurse very gently said « anything coming up ? »

-       Well, said Melanie, I can see a glaborous head over my own and a deep warm voice trying to appease me.  That’s about all !

-       Do you remember where you were when you heard that voice ?

Another very long lapse of time went by before Melanie seemed to come back to life.

-       I think I was being driven somewhere… I was lying down…. This voice was so ephemera… but helpfull, so helpfull… It’s such a long way a way !

The nurse thanked Melanie for her help, then gave her her injection, pulled her pillows together, gave her some water with a couple of pills and asked her if she would be OK for the night.  Melanie smiling told her she would be fine.  And fell asleep.

Two days later, a big tall man with a glaborous face walked into Melanie’s room. As she looked up at him, he asked her :

-       Well, how do you feel today ?  I really thought you wouldn’t get through when I escorted you in the ambulance after your accident.  I did so hold your hand to try and keep you alive untill we got here !  Do you remember ?

Melanie’s face enlightened ! That voice, your voice….I can only just recall I wanted to hear it again !  and here it is ! It was so, so… strong !  I know it pulled me through… where did we meet ?

-       I was with you in the ambulance after your accident, do you remember ?

He sat with her for quite a while, telling her his version and making sure she was listening and trying to recall images, sounds, situations…

-       I have to go now, but I’ll be back in a few days.  Bye bye.

The ambulance man came three times a week to see Melanie and talk with her.

On the other hand, he was seeing her family giving him lots of details about their previous life, he would use for the following meeting.  When they all felt she had enough « stuff » to cope with, they decided it was time for her family to pay her another visit.

Eric walked into her room with a lovely big bunch of yellow roses (her favourite flowers) and her Mum followed with Roseline in ther arms.

-       Hi darling, how are you feeling today ?  Roseline was handed over to her and she picked her up and they both started laughing, then she rocked her delicately, the way she used to do.

-       Well, if your are feeling ok, the hospital has decided you’re ready to come home.

Melanie smiled at them all : « I think I’m ready now ».  At least I know who you are !

Let’s say next Sunday then « It’s Epyphany » , the day we’ve always loved to celebrate together…

 ___________________________

Annemarie's story

 

What do Words Mean?

Mimi sat up in bed…alone.Unlike her friends she was happy to wake early, to indulge in  a full hour of preparation before revealing herself to the world. How grateful she was to have her own home, her own mornings, despite the wonderful Max. Yes, they were an item but they agreed to keep their separate homes. It kept the magic going.

He took her out to restaurants, weekend painting experiences, trips abroad, stately homes, museums, and what a mine of information! Didn’t she have an ephemera of tickets and souvenirs in an intricately woven basket (bought from an eco women's project on their 2021 trip to a Botswanan village).

Yes, her home time was me-time, time to recover, time to replenish, time to rejuvenate body and face.

     She opened her vanity case and selected  her Anastasia Beverly Hills Precision Tweezers from an array of beauty aids laid out in readiness like a surgeon's operating tray - eyelash curler, scissors, cotton wipes, miniature massage machine (no chin-sag for Mimi). Underneath a cavern of  jars and tubes with a veritable dictionary, nay, a thesaurus of age-defying, beauty-enhancing minutely printed words.  Picking up her 5x magnifying mirror she checked for errant hairs on her pretty little  chin.

    She chose a  honey-potion-plus-ceramide-hydration mask and smeared it over her face. While it dried and extracted yesterday's pollution, while it tautened and eliminated wrinkles, she examined the ingredients on one of the tiny, plum-sized, thick glass jars containing a teaspoon of defiant anti-ageing cream; at least thirty words printed on the the 2 x2 centimetre label.  She examined the recently acquired eyelash conditioner. What an earth was chlorophenesin? A quick search on Google assured her that it was 'a little helper ingredient that works as a preservative. It works against bacteria and some species of fungi and yeast. It's often combined with IT-preservative, phenoxyethanol.' So that was good. £89! But worth it as her lashes after 20 applications were, for the first time in her life, flutterable.

      Absent-mindedly she read other promises and assurances printed on jars and tubes: Face-pack packets of natures wonders -  aloe Vera, cosmos organic in fresh pressed leaves to clean, clear and hydrate; hyaluronic acid serum is a great choice for those looking to improve the appearance of their skin; miracle golden-glow to illuminate the cheeks (more than 41 ingredients in that one; surprising there was sufficient cheek on which to spread the stuff); sublime energy skin- smoothing anti-age primer.  The beauty industry was a place where hyphenated words existed in hordes. So many scientific words, unpronounceable  and no use for writing; words merely to wipe, to layer, to plaster, to sculpt and paint upon her face. She pushed aside the bottles and jars to think about which exercise outfit to wear. Ten minutes later Mimi sluiced off the mask, ten minutes to instantly feeling ten years younger. She had to hurry now as she had the first of her body-enhancing classes. Just some lipstick to go on - yes, this was the one: “Shimmer bomb, a dusky rose, infallible 24hr lipstick of intense colour and boosting balm.” If only da Vinci and Rembrandt had such age-defying palettes of colours what more could they have achieved, she mused.

      Thursday was her 'Grit' class which entailed short, sharp bursts of high intensity training so it was as well that she had her Body-Balance class in the afternoon, an altogether less strenuous class, a yoga, Tai Chi and Pilates inspired workout to keep her long, strong, calm and centred… and she could quietly observe the latest exercise outfits worn by the younger  'Gritters'.

        All those meals out with Max were revealing themselves on her waistline. They had celebrated (did she really mean celebrated?) her seventieth birthday last year - with a surprise trip (from Max) to Amsterdam. How could she forget the 70 red roses in vases  around their room. He knew her preference was for yellow but as he informed her, yellow roses symbolised jealousy, infidelity and dying love whereas his red roses were  a symbol of his commitment, faithfulness, and loyalty.

     To counteract the meals out and bottles of gin thoughtfully sent during Covid, she had enrolled on Tuesday afternoon on a ViPR (pronounced viper of course) class - a whole-body workout to help build muscle and burn calories. She hoped it wouldn't be too aggressive; reading the blurb Mimi learnt that one ' can undertake a wide range of movements with this adaptable fitness tool - it can be lifted, dragged, rolled, thrown and even stepped on…' a long, hard rubber cylinder. The new ViPR class had been surprisingly active but Mimi had kept up with the best of the younger-than-Mimi women. Not only that but she had looked as good as them;  she wallowed in the “Gosh, you don’t look anywhere near 70…”, “what a fantastic figure you have…” “ what? Four children? I don’t believe you!” comments which were  scattered at her by her fellow 'Vipers'.

      She arrived home slim, sweaty, satisfied.  Time to try her new shampoo. Her hair had been somewhat lank lately. She remembered when she was a sweet sixteen,  having curled  her hair in a topknot on her head and that the boy she hankered after had mocked her, laughing and saying it looked like a chicken's bum… in front of all her friends! She’d been mortified but to be honest she thought the same thing about her friend who didn’t bother to put her false teeth in; although she'd never said so she thought waking up beside her must be like waking up to a hen's hole. Perhaps that’s when she had her epiphany; she would always make every effort to look after her svelte body and enhance the beautiful face nature had gifted her. The new shampoo pledged drop-defying bounce and body and a languished-after lustrous sheen to tired, lank hair.

       Before stepping into the shower she looked at the bottle to check how long to leave it on…

 thallium, mercury, selenium, and colchicine … just some of the ingredients, no wonder her hair would be thick, bouncy and lustrous.  After her shower and feeling relaxed, fit and beautiful Mimi had a bowl of carrot and fennel soup and went early to bed. Tomorrow was another day out with Max  - to visit, to be informed, to be fed, to be loved and she must look her best.

      The following morning Max failed to get an answer when he rang the doorbell. Quietly he let himself in. No Mimi downstairs. He tiptoed upstairs, peered round her bedroom door only to find her sobbing in bed, clutching handfuls of Caracas iced-chocolate-coloured hair (not lustrous) and her scalp a dome of  bald patches. Overnight Mimi had gone from glamorous to glabrous. So worried by the vicious scarlet patches Max took out his phone…When the ambulance arrived Max led her gently downstairs.

“And don’t forget my phone,” she said to Max, thinking to herself, I’ll need to research some decent wigs.

 _________________________________________

Jackie

It really is fascinating this business of writing.      Words become ideas and sentences, thoughts flow (well, normally) and stories are created magically.   

    When the five words were decided on at the last meeting my mind started to roll.  I think with glee about possible plots.    My imagination clicks in and I start to invent all sorts of tales.     So one morning, early, I sit down with tea and toast, trying not to get the marmalade on the computer, pushing the computer to the middle of the table so that I can  reach the keys, eat breakfast and still type.      Unfortunately  the page remains blank, I’m distracted by France Info on the radio and getting up to push the bread in the toaster down twice before it develops the brown crispiness that I enjoy.    Then there are the dogs, Daisy wants to go out.  Its cold so I shut the door.   4 minutes later she wants to come in – then Rosco decides that he must also go out and so it goes on.

An email chimes, a phones blips all these distractions and its time to walk the dogs.    9:30.  I’m back.  Coffee time and change and get ready for my day.   Coming back to my computer there is nothing on my page for my story.    

Yellow roses and ambulance made me think of Cuba in the 1960’s.   Where did that come from?   Now, how is that possible?.  Cuba? I’ve never been there.    Do I know where it is?  I check and yes of course, I knew all along.      and so I started to write ;   “1960 in Havana Cuba.    The plastic yellow roses bobbed up and down on the grubby dashboard of this bright pink ambulance as it heaved its way through the potholed streets of Havana”   It was a start so I did a little research and came up with this.  

To learn that Fidel Castro cancelled Christmas Day.

“Because Christmas in Cuba was outlawed by the atheist Castro regime for nearly 30 years (1969-1997), so that celebrations wouldn't get in the way of the sugar harvest (which was the reason given by the goverment ) Instead of the traditional Christmas tree,  palm trees with Chistmas lights wrapped around the slender trunks served to decorate the streets with strange, small, nearly round, glabrous, ribbed fruits on a sparsely flowered spike.

Santa, ruled Castro’s director of culture, Vicentina Antuña, is out because he is “a recent importation [from the U.S.] and foreign to our culture.” From now on Cuban children will expect presents from the Three Wise Men on January 6, the feast of the Epiphany. No cardboard Santas or reindeer will be permitted. “Decorations must be made of Cuban materials, with traditional Cuban scenes,” ruled Senora Antuña, “and Cuban Christmas cards must be used instead of imported ones.”

 

Cuba went without any officially permitted Christmas celebrations for decades. Christmas was banned by the Communist Regime in Cuba in 1969 and not again allowed until 1997.

 

 6th of January, the Ephiphanie,  the people were dressed in their best clothes as it was the equivalent of a western Christmas.    Small ephermeral shops opened in the tiny streets in and around Havana and other small towns in Cuba. 

 Ladies dressed in tailored skirts, women wore stiletto heels,  suits with short boxy jackets, and oversized buttons.   They paraded up and down the boulevards with colourful full skirted frocks with low necklines and close fitting waists  The men, elegant in suits and bow ties, Oxford lace up shoes which shone reflecting the very moon above.

Today, celebrating Christmas has been allowed since 1997.   There is a huge Christmas Eve mass that takes place each year in Havana in Revolution Square. At the stroke of midnight, church bells ring out loudly and announce the Saviour’s birth. Also in the square are gigantic television screens, which display the mass performed by the Pope in Vatican City.

Most people spend several days decorating their homes, gathering the food for the Christmas feast, and getting ready for Christmas. For those who can afford it, it is a huge celebration each year.

So with just 5 words I have bored you with a story but perhaps learnt a lot about a country that I had never thought a lot of before.

___________________________________________

Sarah's story

Yellow roses, yellow roses!  Who can sufficiently extol the beauty of yellow roses?  Their glorious brilliance, diffusing the sunshine throughout  a room, warming the soul with their luminous colour!  And what beauty could be more ephemeral?  Pink roses keep their colour, even when they fade; so do red ones.  But the yellow ones, whose colour signifies optimism, energy and  friendship but also happiness and joy, though splendid at the moment of their full bloom, must be seized at once; their message must not be lost.  If left to shrivel to a sickly shade and then to brown, they must be got rid of immediately; they should never have been ignored, allowed to reach this stage and leave an altered memory of themselves.  Do not let the day escape your grasp, they seem to say.  


A single rose, held under the glabrous chin of an Austro-Hungarian Kavalier, may be pink, white, silver, but if it is yellow, cannot be given to Sophie—it is for the Marschallin, surely, and will not be given in vain.  

What an epiphany might have been hers if such had been the case: realizing that at thirty-five, she was not past love, she was only beginning, indeed, and the richest years were still before her!  And when the ambulance, with its creaking wooden wheels, carted her lover off the heroic field, his last words would not be, “Long live the Empress!” but the surprisingly intimate “Marie Thérèse, ma Marie-Thérèse!”

 



Wednesday 9 November 2022

 It’s better to lie 7  –  the election
(08.11.2022)

What’s happening with my sister?  I haven’t heard from her in over six weeks!  Of course I’ve been so busy myself, with getting the garden ready for winter, putting away all the summer things, bringing in the wood (and putting away the new wood I have ordered!), not to mention having had my sons and daughters, my nieces and nephews and my grandchildren all here off and on, that I didn’t in fact realize I hadn’t heard from Susan in so long, until today.  When Charles was alive I had more help around the house.  But now it’s non-stop from morning to night, whatever the season.  Well, maybe between Christmas and New Year’s there’s a lull, but that’s about it.
And if the ordinary work wasn’t enough, there are always problems.  Last month it was the dishwasher: it wouldn’t empty out, and there was a backlog of dirty water.  I tried using drain cleaner, but that only turned the dirty water green.  Finally I called a plumber and he found the problem in less than five minutes: a piece of broken glass was blocking the mechanism.  £100, thank you very much.  Then it was the car: battery dead, and when the garageman saw it he said that’s not all that’s worng with it.  He  presented me with an estimate for £1000 in repairs and an offer of £300 for the motor if I cared to sell it to him.  Of course I chose the latter.  I never use the car in town anyway; even if the bus lines aren’t too convenient, I can walk just about everywhere, including the train station.  This week it’s the telephone—I mean the landline.  Thank goodness the mobile phone still works so I could call the phone company.  They’ve been working on the problem for three days and still haven’t solved it.  And it’s been two weeks since the printer has been on the blink.  Luckily I printed out my absentee ballot before that happened.
That reminds me: if I don’t get that ballot off today it won’t get there in time.  Even now it’s touch and go.  After I send off an email to my sister I’ll sit down with a cup of tea and fill it out.  There, the email’s gone off, let’s see about the vote.  Something of a pain voting for candidates in an American election when I now live in England; but it’s a patriotic duty and must be done.  And I keep hearing that this mid-term election is crucial.   No doubt it is to the rest of my family who still live over there, so let’s get on with it.  Fill in all the little round holes with black ink, make sure you don’t make any extra marks or the ballot won’t be counted, that’s fine; easy this time, just vote for the Democrats all down the line.  There, that’s done!  I deserve another biscuit.
Oops, how clumsy!  I’ve spilled my tea.  All over the ballot, over both sheets, and the ink from the one has stained the other, with words that aren’t supposed to be there.  Oh dear!  They’ll never accept this ballot now, I’ll have to print it out again. Crumb, I can’t print it, the printer’s on the blink!  Even if I could, it’s raining outside, and it’s ten blocks to the post office.  And if the letter doesn’t get there by four o’clock it won’t go out today and then it’s sure to arrive after the deadline.  Forget it, what’s one vote in the midst of 200 million?  Throw out the ballot and have another cup of tea.
Oh, there’s a reply from my sister.  She excuses her long silence.  Well, I’ve been uncommunicative too.  She says she’s been working day and night since mid-September, to get the vote out.  That’s right, she’s always been very civic-minded, and I can imagine how tirelessly she has been at it.  She asks if I’ve voted.  Of course she does, she always does.  And up until now I always have.
How can I admit I have not voted and no longer can?  No, I can’t tell her, that’s all there is to it.  I’m usually a stickler for truth, but in this precise situation I have no choice.  This time, it’s better, far better, to lie.
 

 

Patrice's story


I was born in 1952.  My mother was 20 when I was born.  She had had three babies by then.  The sister between my brother and I died shortly after birth from a heart condition.  Many years later, when I had the capacity to think about my mother with compassion and maturity I realized that it was likely that by the time I was born she was depleted beyond imagination and still grieving from the loss of her second child, Bernadette.

 

My mother was in an unhappy and violent marriage, living an ocean away from her mother, and her culture. She was among my father’s family who did not approve of the marriage and, who, as a whole shunned both her and to some degree, us.  The marriage, even after their attempts to fix what is so clearly broken, fell apart.  And she fell in love.  With the man who would become my step-father. 

 

I was a dark haired, dark eyed, serious child.  The product of two hazel eyed, light haired and light skinned parents.  My brother had the white blonde hair and blue eyes of my mother’s side of the family.  My birth heralded a new look.  I was three by the time my parents separated for good.  My biological father had hinted and, frankly stated that I couldn’t be his because I didn’t look like him.  My mother in a monumental shift in reality supported this fiction to my father, and to me.  It became the reason why my father was unkind to me, treated me differently than my brother, sent him gifts on my birthday, or threatened to leave me behind while he took my brother out for lunch, or to a baseball game. It was far easier for me to accept that my mother had been having an affair than it was for me to accept that my father simply disliked me.

 

The fiction lived for years and years – I can’t really remember when I knew that it was a lie, one my mother told because she longed for it to be true, and one I accepted because it made the discomfort of being my father’s daughter a little easier.  But somewhere between childhood and angry adolescence I became aware that there was a great deal about me that was quite similar to my father.  And that, if you took the time to look one generation back, to my father’s side of the family – those that survived – I was clearly their genetic outcome.  My father’s brother, my uncle who is 94 years old now, says when he sees me, “It is like looking at my mother’s face”.  It gives me pleasure because it gives him some peace.

 

A fractured relationship to the truth slides through my family’s history like a snake.  Forked tongue speaking half truths, full lies, and embroidered events.  All told, hand to god, as if documented in stone, until inconveniently uncovered by a truth teller, or anyone who was perplexed by mismatched facts and impossible realities.

 

There was a point in my own life where I decided that I would no longer lie.  Nor would I let anyone believe that I believed the lies I was told.  I became the truth teller in my family.  It was a singularly unpopular stance. One that led my mother to suggest boarding school (we could not afford that), sending me to a kibbutz in Israel, or shipping me off to live with my bio-father (that’s a shady story for later). 

 

My stance on not lying has softened somewhat since my teen years. I tell polite lies, “It’s a lovely party”, “No, I’ve never heard this story before”, “Yes, your child does have remarkable rhythm”.   They have their purpose and if saying a polite lie saves someone from hurt feelings – or unnecessary misery I go for it.  But I still find it a balancing act – that requires attention and compassion to myself and others. 

Annemarie's story

The Cow's Lament: Is it better to lie

 

To lie or not to lie…that is the question.

Whether it is advantageous to stand

In this verdant field of grass and clover

To note the falling pressure and scowling sky

And so, by lying, preserve a patch that's dry?

Should we swipe a luscious bunch of grass

And watch  scudding clouds  begin to cover

A darkening sky, predicting rain, wet weather,

Stay standing to ruminate, to meditate on

Humans' behaviour to four-legged beasts.

Take a pause - is there respect

That makes a calamity of a whisking tail,

Flicking unwittingly 'cross the cowman's face,

And, so angered, he docks those hairy tools

Which, when we stand opposing one another,

Can flick the flies from our bovine eyes?

To stand, to ruminate and ponder

The pain of punctured ears, of metal tags

Numbered, lettered to classify each cow

When in times past we had proper names

Like Buttercup and Bessie, Daisy and Flame.

We were not attached to man's machines

But knew instead the hands of gentle milkmaids.

Now hikers cross our fields, view our curious faces;

When spooked we stare and stalk, then nudge,

And sometimes chase, surround, stampede

To keep you from our newborn calves.

 And is it better to lie down to chew the cud,

And in reposing ease the rumbling rumen

And rest our weary legs, perchance to dream?

Yes , when cows lie down it’s no harbinger of rain,

Just a growling stomach, tired legs, an urge to sleep!

 Jackie's story

It’s better to lie

She furtively glanced at me across the seat in the high speed train.  I know because I was struggling to read   one eye on my screen  and one eye on the person opposite me.    Spread before her were a packet of crisps, chocolate bars half eaten, a sandwich,  French style filled with cream cheese and ham, gerkins and too ripe tomatoes that sqashed out of the bread and dripped down onto the train table;

Shall I go on …shortbreads and gum sweets and what was a little worrying a litre bottle of white wine

I, had a bottle of water, a few almons and walnut mix in my pocket.    As I settled into a good book on my kindle,   I was constantly interrupted by crisp crunching and packet opening, cringing every time her now greasy fingers touched our communal table and using the train seats to wipe with.  Turning the pages of the free magazine and squashing bits of crumbs and crisps between the pages.  Made a note not to look at that magazine even if I was bored.  The wine was drunk out of the bottle as no cup or glass were visible.   And as the train jerked on  its track for a second caused her to dribble she then hiccuped for at least ten minutes ;  a loud hic up with mouth open and no attempt to hide the sound.  Like a bird who had swallowed a peanut.

 

Another 2.5 hours to go.   The train was full,  not a spare seat to move to and as other passengers were enjoying their packed lunch or café prepared meals fell asleep – my neighbour continued to crunch her way through her feast.   

Then in one movement she looked up – greasy hair parted from her grey green eyes and I recognized her.    She had put on a stack of weight. Not surprising seeing what she stuffed into her body.

Now, I remembered her clearly from Junior year in high school. Her straight brown hair always in a braid which the boys in our classes pulled relentlessly.   I remember her cry as they teased her about her clothes.  Long skirts, see through shirts with no bra, oxford shoes and short socks, hairy legs and dirty fingernails.  So very different from the polished high school students in my top Californian high school.   The girls were sleak haired,  balerina shoed and shaved their legs, underarms and whatever other hairs they could remove from their bodies.   The boys were impeccable and wore so much eau de cologne the school smelt like a perfume factory.

For some odd reason this girl (who I won’t name)– continually tried to befriend me.  Phone calls, written notes in class and always came to sit next to me at the canteen.  I couldn’t be rid of her.  She stared at me with undying love, followed me around and even tried to take the same classes as me.     It was embarrasing and at the time I didn’t understand the ways of the world.       Then I changed schools and she was out of my life – until now.

 

I believe we know each other she suggested.    Oh no, I replied, you must be mistaken.     In some cases its better to lie.

 Geraldine's story

IT’S BETTER TO LIE

 

When Rosaline put the phone down, she was shaking so much that she could hardly breathe, and sunk down into the nearest armchair.

This had been going on for such a long time without anyone noticing and she had thought it could have been for years and years, maybe for ever !

You could no longer see  her lovley fair skinned face with her dark blue almond eyes, her circomflex accent eyebrows and her fine greek nose.  Behind her hands, streams of tears were escaping hidden by  her dark curly hair.

What was she going to do ?  What would she tell her family : her great husband who loved her so dearly, her 2 boys and her young daughter who were the most important people in her life. Would she have to tell them the awful truth or would it be better to lie ?

Fifteen years ago, just after her daughter Jane was born, Rosaline went through a very hard postpartum depression : she loved her husband, James,  her two boys were funny, lively and loving chaps.  The household didn’t have any financial problems as James was running a     well-known lawyer’s business. But, she just couldn’t put herself together, each morning and face the coming day.  Everything looked grey, miserable and she was just unable to straighten her mind, feel positive and get on with it.

James was feeling very unsettled with the situation : how come his beloved wife looked so sad, felt so hopeless.  She would spend days wandering around the house not knowing what to do with herself, suddenly bursting out into tears .

What could they do about it ?  Should they ask for someone’s help ? After longly discussing the situation, Rosaline accepted  Jame’s suggestion to finally go and see a Psychologist.  They went together for the first meeting : there were loads of tears shed, sobbing, emotional feelings during the session and they finally agreed that Roseline should start a psychotherapy with Math O’Connor which could keep going for quite a while as they discovered a real huge bag of bones linked with Roseline’s childhood that needed to be delt with.

And that’s when Roseline started going to see Mister O’Connor weekly, every Thursday afternoon from 2 to 3 p.m.  The first sessions were difficult and painful as they stirred up a lot of forgotten critical situations experienced  while growing up.  She would come home with red swollen eyes and a soaking wet handkerchief.  Her children didn’t ask any questions but they most certainly felt something very strange was going on.

Little by little, as the months went by, they discussed undoing thousands of knots problem after problem, and things were getting straightened out.  Roseline was feeling better : she was much happier, she would sometimes even be singing in the house when busy with certain chores and started drawing or painting exploring and exercising her creative talents.  She started taping some of her pictures in her daughter’s room, then in some of the house’s corridors.  Things were getting better.

When she thought she could do without Mister O’Connor’s help, she discussed the situation with him.

-       Mr. O’Connor, I think I’m feeling better now and could try and drop the sessions with you ! What do you think ?

-       Oh ! Roseline, it might be a bit early : I think you’re still a bit frail and there are still many things we should yet talk about.  For instance, your relation with James.

They worked on the subject for another  10 weeks and Mr. O’Connor that we can call Math now, had a problem, a very big problem.  He felt addicted to Roseline : he didn’t have to see her more than an hour a week, but he really couldn’t do without her during that particular hour.

So, when Roseline suggested again that she maybe could put an end to her therapy, he took both her 2 hands in his own, held them very tightly and just said : « It’s impossible, Roseline, I need you, I need your presence, maybe I even love you » !

-Oh my God ! Not you !  I’ve been resisting so long taking you in my arms and secretly dreaming of you, your body, your smell, touching you all over, but I love my husband so much !

- Well, we could give it a try ! Within the minute, they were both naked, rolling together on the couch, hands, tongues, sex all muddled together, small and louder screams coming from deep inside them, and after a hughe orgasm, they lay flat, sweating and panting ….

- Oh ! How fantastic.  I’ve never had such pleasure in my life said Roseline, smiling and then laughing and laughing and laughing. Math held her tightly in his arms and very gently said :

«  we could just swap our therapy sessions to…..well….to this new…..Heu…convention ? »

And so, ever since, Roseline and Math would have their Thursday 2 to 3 session and she would go home light, happy and fulfilled.

Till this terrible phone call :

« If you carry on with your Thursday Therapy, we shall make it public.  And everybody will know it’s a sexual therapy… ».

Where did that come from, who was to know, was it someone bluffing ? 

The rest of the day Roseline felt devastated, didn’t know who could help, how she could escape the scandal, and went to bed with James, feeling restless and maybe even feverish.

Next morning, it was a Monday, she called Math to tell him she would be cancelling their weekly meetings.

-       « But you can’t do that, he exclaimed ».  Not after fifteen years.  We are both going to suffer like hell. By the way, why do you want to cancel ?  Have you fallen in love with another man ?

-       Oh no ! Said Roseline.  I still love James very deeply and I don’t think I could cope without our Thursday afternoon sex therapy, but I’m being blackmailed,  at least I got this strange call… and she told him all about it.

-       - Don’t worry, he said.  Nobody can know what goes on in my therapy cabinet.  Professional secret.  So, it’s better to lie, to deny and never change our position as to our behaviour !

-       - OK. I’ll try and keep silent and zen about it all and we’ll discuss it next time we meet.

Which they did, the following Thursday that felt more like therapy than sex, and Math having told her he had received the same call and completely denied the facts they were accused of.

End of story.  Lie is sometimes very efficient and ever since, every Thursday, the shutters close in Mr. O’Connor’s cabinet from 2 to 3.


 

Our stories

Pick a place but don't say where it is and the others have to guess

Sarah's contribution Describe a place – 3 a place I like to return to A river runs through it. And around it, and between its various ne...